It’s the same every year – single or attached, madly in love – you wake up on the 14th feeling disgruntled and ashamed for feeling anything. But that’s Valentine’s Day for you: a date we expect to deliver, which we also despise, and it’s guaranteed to disappoint, whichever way you
It’s the same every year – single or attached, madly in love – you wake up on the 14th feeling disgruntled and ashamed for feeling anything. But that’s Valentine’s Day for you: a date we expect to deliver, which we also despise, and it’s guaranteed to disappoint, whichever way you play it. It’s just one of those things that all of us have to accept: a calendar event, seared into the brains of schoolgirls, that will never live up to expectations, because women expect the unimaginable, and men are only human.
I woke up on February 14th, with a pink envelope by my side, and my wife wishing me ‘Happy Valentine’s!’. This is probably one of the scariest moments for most men out there who either, 1) don’t understand Valentine’s day, and/or 2) forget it altogether. I was somewhat in between, as I did somewhat remember it, but only managed to deploy an e-card the evening before…which somehow never arrived! Hence, you can probably understand and empathise with me…but either way, a panic-attack set-in, and all hell broke loose to say the least.
After a good bollocking, I woke up to check my emails, Twitter, Facebook and every possible medium that contributes to my information frenzy. I noticed numerous Tweets of “Happy Valentine’s”, “Going out for dinner” etc, but one that really struck me, was a friend’s Facebook header which read “Thank god love is recession proof”…This is when I started thinking, “Is love really recession proof?.”
To give you a brief history of my Valentine’s experience..or lack thereof, I started off several years ago by buying practical gifts for my wife, which I thought was pretty romantic..a beautiful minimalist Krups ‘fruit blender’, this for some awkward reason did not go down too well. A year later, I tried again…but this time with something more personal…a his and hers pair of electronic toothbrushes..and also a box of Lindt chocolates..which I later pulverised by myself. This too did not seem to improve my Valentine’s credentials. So, this year, I finally gave up on the commercialisation and much hyped Valentine’s day, and bought nothing…this my friends, was a huge mistake.
Valentine’s Day, a more discretionary day compared with birthdays and Christmas, is proving particularly vulnerable to the bursting of the economic bubble. Diamond jewellery sales are down 20 percent to 30 percent. Flower sales are likely to tighten as well, in part because of the economic situation, and the horrendous costs involved on this particular day.
In the current economic climate, many men say it comes as a great relief not to have to produce a material manifestation of an intangible emotion. It has become such an ingrained part of our culture that women expect it and men expect they need to do such things. Based on some quick research of consumer attitudes toward Valentine’s Day, the reassessment of the day is forcing it back to its roots. It started out as an intimate card-giving occasion in the mid-1800s but then grew into the second-most-marketed holiday after Christmas. It became a card and chocolate, then card, chocolate and roses, and then card, chocolate, roses and a lavish night out.
Being a market researcher, I embarked on a little experiment using a wonderful tool called SocialToo (www.socialtoo.com). I have used this tool on various occasions to poll my friends on Twitter or Facebook, and it proves the power of Online research in many ways. In a matter of minutes, I managed to gain this fascinating insight;
So, what do women really want?
- Here are just a few reasons why no man can ever quite get it right on Valentine’s Day:Women want a card, but not the Wrong Card. Namely, one that says something a bit matey and commitment-phobic, such as “Hey, Valentine, what’s cooking?” Also, they don’t want sleazy, obviously; or cheesy; or itsy-bitsy poemy; or back-slappingly jokey; or earnest and sunrisey. They want a card that could have been made for them.
- Women like to get something else besides a card, something small, but not too small. And, of course, we have no idea what, other than that it should be thoughtful and indulgent, or sexy in a good way. Underwear, maybe, but that can go seriously wrong — especially if it is tiny, but would fit your ex. If not, you risk making her feel fat and taken for granted, and will put her in the mother of all rages.
- Women need to be surprised, but don’t want to be given something they don’t want (like a fruit juicer or electronic tooth-brush)..trust me, I know!
- Women want flowers, ideally, but not yellow, refrigerated roses in a plastic wrapper from Cold Storage. And not a monster conference-room arrangement with birds of paradise and twisty twigs (bleep, bleep! Expense account), and not lilies.
- Women want to be taken out to dinner. Or do they? Isn’t it a bit tacky to go out to eat on Valentine’s Day? Then again, if you don’t go out, what do you do? Loafing around watching chick-flicks is okay, but since you will, at some point, compare this night with the first few months of your relationship, when you were too in love to watch TV, it will end in an argument. Come to think of it, it will probably end in an argument anyway.
Well, to all you guys out there, I hope this article has helped you make sense of Valentine’s day. You’d be glad to know that I’ve since found my way out of the dog-house by acquiring some roses and a card, albeit slightly belated. For those of you of failed to impress…oh well. There’s always next year.
By Bob Chua
Bob.chua@pulse-group.com